It’s the middle of November (already; when did this even happen?), which means that, blog-wise, it’s time for me to offer my mid-month R-E-P-O-R-T. But, sheesh. What a downer of a “report” it was turning out to be . . . with R standing for Reeling, E standing for Emotionally-Bereft-About, P standing for Pissed-Off-Over, etc.

Me.
Whining.
Not what any of us needs right now.

So I challenged myself to dig a little deeper and offer a different R-E-P-O-R-T. Here’s what I came up with:

At mid-month, I’m . . .

R . . . eeling.

Yeah. I kept that one in, because when it comes right down to it, I am reeling. But. I’m also beginning to find some solid ground under my feet. I guess you could say that . . . I’m still standing, but I’m also a little wobbly. Turns out the ground under my feet is less even and much more rocky than I’m comfortable with, so I’ll be sure to watch my footing extra carefully for a while.

E . . . nduring.

I am a resilient person. I’ve put up with a lot of . . . crap and plenty of disappointment in my 65 years, and I’m sure I’ll put up with yet more. Still, I persist. Still, I endure. And I plan to continue enduring.

P . . . ermitting.

I’m permitting myself time to rest. I feel really tired every day. Tom tells me I’m like this every year after the time change, as I adjust to the darkness of winter. He’s probably right. (And he just got me a SAD lamp. We’ll see how that works out.) But I think it’s particularly important right now . . . for me to rest and not feel bad about it.

O . . . ffering.

I am offering continued kindness and support for others, as needed. And when I am feeling a little less shaky – and as opportunities arise – I will offer my help in more concrete ways. I don’t have any notion of what that might look like, or what I can actually do to help, but I will keep my eyes (and my heart) open for opportunities to Do Something.

R . . . esigning.

Yes. This really is happening. As much as I kept one little flicker of hope in the dark recesses of my heart that it wasn’t, it is. I need to accept reality and resign myself to . . . whatever is coming. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

T . . . empering.

My expectations. I am coming to grips with what I wanted to happen . . . compared with what did happen. I really don’t like having to temper my expectations. About anything. Ever. So it’s a struggle for me. But I’ll get there.

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Although I know my mood is improving, I’m just not feeling much of the light-and-breezy these days. Everything seems to weigh heavily. I’m staying the course, though . . . not paying attention to the news, trying to stay away from my computer, getting outside, taking care of chores, moving my hands, and spending time with friends and family. It helps.

I’m sure it’s much the same for many of you.

Let’s keep moving forward. Together. Shall we?