
Last Friday, my dad celebrated his 90th birthday . . . and Tom and I threw a big birthday bash for him.
After my mom passed away (nearly 10 years ago now), my dad moved to Kalamazoo to live in the independent living “section” of a senior community. He adapted wonderfully to his new life in a new community . . . making friends, taking part in regular activities like poker, a Wii bowling league, cribbage, and – of course – BINGO. He loves his morning “coffee clatch” and regular dinner reservation with his buddies. Despite increasing mobility limitations (he uses a walker now), he is thriving in his environment.
So we invited the entire apartment community to celebrate his 90th birthday . . . with a simple cake-and-drinks party.
It was a BIG hit, and my dad loved it!
He said it was the best birthday party he’d ever had. (Although to my recollection, it is the only birthday party he’s ever had. At least since I was born.)
And, when it was all over, I realized there was a big lesson in here for me (and maybe you, too): THROW THE PARTY. Celebrate the moments of your peoples’s lives . . . while they’re alive to celebrate with you!
As I was pulling together the photo spreads and décor for the party, I reflected on doing the same for my mom’s memorial service. Her memorial service was a wonderful tribute to her — a big party that she would have LOVED. Which is what we set out to create. But . . . she wasn’t there, of course. She didn’t have a chance to revel in her friends’ love or her family’s presence or her favorite songs and hymns or Tom’s loving eulogy. I wished . . . I had thrown the party for her while she was still alive to enjoy it!
Of course, it’s not that simple. My mom would never have agreed to having a birthday party. Most of us . . . aren’t comfortable being the center of attention at a party or gathering. So we say no. (That would be me, for sure.) And what a shame that is! By saying no . . . we lose out on the reveling! (My dad said no, too, by the way. Initially. He didn’t want me to “go to any trouble.” But I convinced him. And he was thrilled.) (So there.)
And that’s my lesson: Celebrate your people while they’re alive. Milestone birthdays. Anniversaries. Retirements. Bon voyages. Welcome homes. Celebrate the big stuff. Or the little stuff. Let your people REVEL. Let them feel the love.
Just do it!
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Here’s a little photo gallery that will give you a sense of my dad’s celebration. I was too busy to take many photos, but I did manage a few. (And I gotta say . . . the banner featuring my dad’s face? Hard to photograph . . . but big hit!)











What a wonderful thing, Kym. Congratulations to your dad on his birthday and having such a loving daughter.
So wonderful! Well done!
Happy Birthday to you, John!! What a fantastic and fun thing to have celebrated, Kym! (and you are so right… celebrate everything!!)
What a wonderful thing, indeed! And the best advice!
What a party!! Happiest Birthday to your Dad Kym (belated). We threw a party for my Dad’s 90th (16 years ago!!) which was just so much fun.
SO glad to hear he is thriving !
My first reaction to this post helped illustrate your point for me; I thought, “What a terrific idea and I wish my parents were still here so I could do this for them.” They would both have reacted the same way as your father, by initially saying no but they would have loved it. I’m sorry I never thought to do anything like this for my parents, especially my father who never adapted to his assisted living facility very well. But I celebrated some good friends getting a Fancy 2026 Outback by baking them a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread yesterday and I will try to make a point of revelling when things should be celebrated. Great post, great party, and I hope your father enjoys a happy and healthy 91st year.
Your dad looks great! So glad to hear he enjoyed his party, you were absolutely right to throw it 😊
Happy Birthday to your dad! What a wonderful way to celebrate!
Happy birthday to your dad! I am fully on board with celebrating anything that deserves celebration — if there’s anything the past several years has taught us, it’s that nothing is guaranteed, so we should live in the moment. I’m glad that your dad is thriving in his community and could enjoy this birthday bash!
So fun! Happy Birthday to John! And here’s to taking your advice! xo
You give some very good advice. Congratulations to your Dad! He’s a smart man to move into a place where he has community. Community is the best way to stay lively, happy and joyous as we (and all our loved ones) age!
I’m so glad you did this for your dad and your advice to throw the party and revel in people is wonderful. I had a 65th birthday party for my mom and I’m so glad I did since she died less than 2 years later. That party also sparked a lot of change for ME, it was when I realized I deserved to be happy and I wasn’t and I made a huge change that resulted in where I am NOW. Dale is turning 75 next month and I don’t have epic party energy but I definitely want to celebrate him and I need to think of a way to do that.
What a great post Kym. It’s so nice you could throw that celebration for your Dad. I’m sure he will revel in all the happy memories for the rest of his life. It’s important to celebrate the big dates and also the small ones. Happy Birthday to you Dad.
This is wonderful, Kym!! It definitely looks like the party was a hit — love all your decor. Happy Birthday to your dad!!