. . . when it comes to your reading choices!
Now we “should” ourselves all the time about all kinds of things (I should do more of this or I should stop doing that or yada yada yada . . . ) Since this is the Read With Us LOUNGE (and thanks for being here, by the way), I’m going to limit our chit-chat today to reading-shoulds, but feel free to extrapolate to other elements of your world if you wish.
Anyway.
I’m sure you know just what I’m talking about here. . . I should read Dickens . . . or Jane Austen . . . or Greek mythology . . . or poetry. I should set goals and stick to my TBR list and listen to book podcasts. I should write reviews. I should stop reading Author X or Author Y or get away from this genre or that genre. I should read more serious books. I should read longer books. I should read some non-fiction. I should finish it if I start it. I should reorganize my library. I should only read from the bestsellers list. Or book award lists. I should hang my head in shame over my love of fantasy romance. Or cozy mysteries. Or spy thrillers.
Sound familiar?
I’ll bet it does. Because I’ve heard ALL of this from my friends in real life . . . and from y’all, right here in my comments over the years! Because this should-ing happens all the time. For all of us (as far as I can tell).
And why do we do this to ourselves??? Who knows. I’m sure there are lots of reasons for it. But unless we’re taking formal classes with assigned reading, the word should . . . shouldn’t enter our minds when it comes to deciding which book to pick up and read next.
The thing is . . . there are more books out there in the world than any of us will ever be able to read in our lifetimes. And there are more sources of book recommendations than any of us ever need. (Seriously . . . there is a constant flood of book recommendations . . . ) We’re grown ups. We’re not in school anymore. We like what we like! We can read WHATEVER we want to read! We can set goals for ourselves (if that’s important to us). We can keep lists of what we want to read (if we like doing that sort of thing). We can follow our curiosity or learn new things or join a book group and read with our friends or just entertain ourselves with the latest buzzy beach read. Anything goes! Just remember . . . no one else has the same reading taste as you. It’s all good. And it’s ALL just as it (ahem) SHOULD be.
So. For this summer, here in the Read With Us LOUNGE we’re challenging you . . . to chuck your reading-shoulds right out the window! Read what you like. Whatever it might be. (Remember . . . No rules. Just fun.)
As for me and my own shoulds? Well. Although I’ve been making progress in the chucking department, I have a few reading-shoulds of my own to tackle. Here’s one of the first ones I’m heaving out the window: After at least 10 years of should-ing myself with a summer reading “goal” of getting through this 800 page doorstop of a biography about Simone de Beauvoir, I’m finally going to Let.It. Go! Sorry, Simone. I know you’re an intriguing woman, and I’m sure I’d love learning more about you. But you’re a should. And I just don’t feel like reading you right now . . . even though I set you as a goal 10 years ago.
Because I’m finished should-ing myself when it comes to books!
How about YOU? Are you ready to join me?
- Tell me what reading-shoulds YOU carry around?
- Do you think you might be able to let yourself off the hook with any of them this summer?
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And now I’d like to address . . . commenting on WordPress blogs — and specifically my WordPress blog. The WP commenting feature is always a crapshoot at best. It usually works great, but these days . . . for some reason, after you write and submit a comment on a WordPress blog, it may appear to Not Go Through. To get lost in the internet. To Not Post. I know how frustrating this is, because it happens to me, too, when I comment on other WordPress blogs.
Be assured, though . . . your comments ARE showing up on my blog. So please keep commenting! If you want to be sure your comment posted, you can try this: after submitting your comment, hit the “refresh” button on your browser. And there it will be! Your comment! I don’t know why there is no kind of consistent confirmation from WordPress that your comment posted, but there doesn’t seem to be one.
I’m sorry for these troubles. It’s not you. And it’s not me. It’s some glitchy WordPress thing.
As I said on Carole’s blog… last night I picked up a mystery novel and was pulled in entirely in the first few pages. It has been too long since I read a book that did that. And it felt so good! That thing that reading does so incredibly well… take you away from the present and into the possible! (although I am always so impressed with people who keep the focus on big reading goals… and it is always good to stretch yourself a bit in all things… sometimes letting all that go and just reading for the pure enjoyment of reading is the best thing ever!!)
The only “should” I still struggle with is that I should finish a book when I start it. I am better with DNFing than I was many years ago, but part of me always hopes that things will resolve or get better at the end of the book. Usually I’m satisfied with finishing, even if the book didn’t improve. But generally I feel like I’ve gotten better about reading what I want and not what it feels like everyone else is reading or what others expect me to read. There will always be many more books out there than I have time to read in my lifetime, so my goal is to read as many as I can and to make that reading time worthwhile to me.
(And a note on commenting — I’ve noticed that weird glitch and done the page reload thing, but my comments don’t show up right away. I’ve waited a bit and then gone back to see that they have posted, so I figured it was a glitch and didn’t try to comment again. I’m glad I haven’t been spamming you with extra comments!)
After a few years filled with reading shoulds, I have chucked them all and my love for reading is at an all time high 😍
My big reading should that I’m letting go of is trying to read books that look “good” on goodreads. I used to only want to put smart literary fiction on my Currently Reading, but now I put books that I’m actually reading. I’m also trying to extend the letting go of shoulds to other people’s reading. I judged someone who reads only James Patterson and Danielle Steele. They should not adhere to my reading tastes and I definitely should not judge them!
I have mainly given up all my “shoulds” in the reading area of my life. They popped back up when my husband died. I felt I should be reading books that would help me with my depression and grief, as well as those that might help me navigate a new path in life. Most of them turned out to be advice books, and advice was not what I needed or wanted! A few were very helpful in navigating my feelings, such as Memorial Days by Geraldine Brooks. But I quickly gave them up as I realized it was not necessary or helpful to read them. I have almost given up all the “shoulds” in my life. It is very empowering and frees up a lot of brain space. 🙂
As I commented on another blog, no “shoulds” for moi! I’ve always read what I wanted to (except for requirements while in school and college). I enjoy getting recommendations from friends (like you), but I don’t necessarily feel compelled to read them all.
The smartest people I know want their reading to be easy on the brains and engage them in ways that are fun. I have learned not to judge their cheap romances or whatever it is they like to read. We all read for different reasons. The only should I feel strongly about is everyone should read something. Reading is important.
If you decide you want to read Greek mythology, let me recommend Stephen Fry. I laughed my way through 3 books and learned quite a lot, just for fun.
My reading goals are just for me, not as a challenge but as a way of keeping track of what I read in a year. I, also, like tags on my books as it also helps me keep track of my reading in diverse ways. Goodreads or Storygraph are good ways to touch base with friends and even, perhaps, get recommendations from like minded readers. I’m on both if anyone wants to follow me.
Hmmm…another kind of should: I Should stop expounding so much in Comments. Let’s see if I Could. Unlike other areas of life, with books I have very few shoulds. I kinda just go my own way. But recently I have encountered a Should. I have had The Women by Kristen Hannah on my nightstand for a very long time because It makes for very bad before-sleep reading. So I’m thinking I should find some summertime afternoon to put a dent into it. I Should because it was my era but most importantly, it is interesting. I’ve gotten to the point in life where I don’t want to waste my time unless a book is fun or interesting. You’re much younger Kym. You might drop your reading shoulds one day. Guess I just expounded.
How about this: I should stop feeling guilty for setting an annual reading goal! It’s something I enjoy and I don’t try to surpass it or expand it, I pick a comfortable number that works for me. And then I read comments about how it’s so freeing to not pick a reading goal and I feel like I shouldn’t have a reading goal. Which is silly because I like having a reading goal. I also want to stop thinking I should enjoy mythology. I tried with Circe and convinced myself I should love it. And I’ve had The Song of Achilles on my TBR for years and just can’t bring myself to pick it up. It’s okay to not like mythology.
Carole, I like your idea that while you shouldn’t have to read mythology, it’s OK to have a goal, because you like it. I am currently reading a non-fiction ARC which is keeping me from that latest Ann Patchett (which I’m REALLY looking forward to). But I like having a treat at the end of this book that is less pleasurable, but also important and interesting to me. (If you’ve grown up Christian or Evangelical adjacent in the US, Kristen Kobes DuMez’s Live Laugh Love will be worth your time. Though it’s not as fun, or as cringe, as the title implies.) Also — I totally reserve the right to change my mind and give myself a treat in the middle 😉
My only reading “should” is to read what I enjoy.
I have a friend who stopped reading a few years ago because she felt intimidated by “difficult” books & being a “slow” reader. I encouraged her to talk with one of the librarians about books she might like and now the librarian gives her monthly recommendations for cozy mysteries & historical fiction and she is back to reading every day.
Our reading tastes are different, but we always enjoy talking about what we are reading!
I used to “should” myself …… I’m finding I don’t do that much anymore. Thank goodness that getting old has some upsides….you just don’t “should” as much.
I am hoping to read books I own and wrote a list a week or so ago of books I’d like to read this summer. Some are ARCs that I want to get through, others are one’s I own. I’m sure I will add a few library books like today I grabbed a book even though I wasn’t there for a book, needed to fax something.
Though I commented but may have closed without. Otherwise it will show up twice. I should read what I own and I am working on that as a made myself a summer reading list to pick from. Not including any library books that I may find or put on hold. I was at the library today to fax something and came home with a book.