Reading . . . as a grown-up . . . is meant to be a fun and pleasurable activity. After all, we’re reading because we WANT to read. And we’re old enough – and free enough – that we can read anything we CHOOSE to read. On any timetable. In any format. At any speed. With any quirky habits we might have. AND . . . without anyone looking over our shoulders or questioning our choices.
But sometimes . . . it doesn’t feel that way.
Sometimes it even feels like there are . . . Reading Police. . . out there. Judging what we read, how we read, how much we read, yada yada. (And if you suddenly find Radiohead’s Karma Police playing in your head, you are not alone. It’s been my constant soundtrack for the last week as I’ve been thinking about this post.)
When Bonny and Carole and I first started talking about establishing our Read With Us LOUNGE, this theme kept coming up in our discussions, and we knew we needed to focus our attention on addressing it. So our main objective in creating this “no rules, just fun” summer reading lounge . . . was to talk about and perhaps expose the Reading Police for what they are: Judgemental thugs (real or imagined) who steal reading joy and make readers feel bad for, well . . . reading their own way.
I’m not sure where the Reading Police came from, and I don’t know why so many of us have given them “space” in our heads, but it probably has something to do with . . . school. There were a lot of reading “shoulds” that came along with reading in school – even for kids who adored reading (like me). The “shoulds” we learned about reading from our teachers . . . are sticky. They tend to hang around for a long, long time, deep in our psyches. (And especially when they’re reinforced by . . . oh, parents and friends and other readers we meet along the way . . . )
Now, though, we’re reading adults who are no longer in school. Yet, the Reading Police . . . linger. They are EVERYWHERE. Sometimes we – (yes US) – even become Reading Police ourselves . . . without intending to! Whenever we make judgments (out loud or silently) about how or what other people are reading, we are “policing” the reading choices of others.
I’ve been working on NOT being a member of the Reading Police. It’s a challenge sometimes . . . because most of us do have long-held beliefs and opinions about how-reading-should-be-done AND we like to have our own reading preferences validated by other readers. It’s just human nature! I came up with a couple of little mantras to help me quash any of my own Reading Police tendencies . . . I tell myself “Reading is Reading” or “No Rules Just Fun” if I find myself wandering into judging territory. It helps redirect my thinking in a beneficial way. (These mantras work on myself, too, by the way, if I realize I’m policing my own reading choices.)
And, of course, sometimes I’m a victim of the Reading Police myself. (It’s harder to be a poetry-loving, mythology and classics nerd than you may guess!) But, even more sacrilegious than that . . . I happen to be someone who . . . let’s just say . . . doesn’t always read my books in a linear fashion. (Which means I might skip around and even read the end of a book before I’m “there.”) When I admit this – out loud – to others . . . Oh! The horrors! I don’t think anything brings out the Reading Police quite like admitting you might, from time to time, read the end of the book out of order. Do I care? No. Does it change my behavior? Not really. Although I am more cautious about telling others. Because they do judge me as “reading wrong” . . . or even cheating. (At what I’m not quite sure, but those words have been uttered to me on more than one occasion . . . that I am cheating by reading the ending out of order.)
(Just as an aside, there is research from the University of California showing the many benefits of “spoilers” when it comes to reading. Spoilers don’t actually ruin a story, and in fact, they often help readers – or movie-watchers – enjoy the story even more!)
Anyway. I hope the Read With Us LOUNGE is helping you get past any of those policing tendencies you may harbor – about your own reading habits or about the habits of others.
So. What do you think? Do you ever feel the presence of the Reading Police in your reading life? What do you do to counter those thugs – when you are feeling judged . . . or when you’re feeling judge-y? Do you have any reading habits you try to keep on the down-low (like me with my non-linear reading tendencies) to avoid the scorn of the Reading Police?
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The Read With Us LOUNGE is open all summer long!
Grab a book. Find a comfy spot to read with us for awhile – and chime in with your thoughts and insight, too.
No rules!
Just fun!
And be sure to visit Bonny and Carole today to see what they’re talking about in the LOUNGE.
No rules for moi! Although, I did used to be a finish every book you start person. Now I figure life is way too short to spend time reading something that I’m not really enjoying.
For the longest time, I was also a “if you started it, you must finish it” book reader. To my reading detriment… sigh. But giving myself permission to let go and move on was the best gift I have ever given myself. And I think reading is such an individual thing… what appeals to me might not appeal to everyone (Theo of Golden, I am looking at you… I loved it and recommended it to so many people who all hated it!) So it can be hard to make recommendations about books I loved… but that is okay. There are zillions of books to read… the encouagement should be to read! There is no “wrong reading” no matter what your reading style is.
I will admit that I haven’t been able to fully stop judging people, but I certainly don’t share those judgments with them. We all have our own preferences, and if you happen to love something I hate, it doesn’t really affect me, so why should I police what you choose? I think the most important thing is to encourage people, particularly young people, to read, so we should also encourage anything they like to read.
I do not have any reading rules. However, I have found myself sucked into subtle marketing strategies which appeal to my tendency to challenge myself. I am giving you the stink eye Goodreads! Fortunately I have never paid any attention to the influencers who are now making money to shame us into reading more and certain books. I am looking at you Instagram and TikTok! And I am currently resisting participation in performing marketing chores for publishing houses. I am looking at you NetGalley! If you enjoy these venues, by all means, enjoy them. But I am the boss of my reading, and I find all of these outside influences quite annoying in their lack of mission transparency.
My preferred way to read is an audiobook, followed by Kindle, and then paper. The NYT recently had an article about audiobooks and I felt judged in the comments. So many of them said listening is not “real” reading; only on paper with your eyes counts. I know that’s not true, and I feel sorry that they won’t experience John of John by listening to it narrated by someone with a lovely accent. I don’t personally read the end first, but I know you often do, and that’s good. You can make sure the dog doesn’t die (and other benefits). I used to wonder what people got out of graphic novels, but I’ve learned that reading is reading, however you read and whatever you read!
Bonny’s comment is so affirming (as someone who read a lot on kindle and audio). My daughter has a friend who very often reads the end of a book I’d she thinks it might be hard for her. I find that fascinating. I have come so much closer to being able to say Not for Me without the need to overexplain but it’s a hard road. In the end, if reading becomes a chore, I know it’s time to change directions.
No rules for me! Reading is simply “fundamental!”
I’ve gotten to the point in life where if I don’t like a book, I let it go and move on. Everyone has different reading tastes and preferred formats and from studies I’ve read, there is no difference between reading with the eyes or with the ears. I guess my only rule would be to read what you love and love what you read!
I know I have internalized rules, but I am getting better about letting go when they don’t serve me well. I’ve NEVER thought audiobooks were “cheating” — maybe because I’ve found reading aloud and being read to such a joy from childhood. Why do we read to our tiny ones, but to share the love?
And count me in as one of the ones who (sometimes) sneaks a peek ahead or to the end of a book, if I just can’t stand it. (Or if I don’t want to keep reading if something TERRIBLE will be happening.) And YES I’ve known that was against the rules. I’m very law-abiding, unless I think a rule is stupid.
You all might appreciate a sweet reading story I heard this week – I was invited to a Hobbit themed first birthday party. I made some off the cuff comment to the little one’s grandma that assumed OF COURSE Tolkein is in the FUTURE for this little one. But not so, I learned. It’s been a tough go for this little guy, and sometimes, during long nights, his daddy reads aloud from The Hobbit. Not because he believes his little one is understanding the story, but it’s been a comfort to both of them. A good story, a daddy’s voice.
I think I am sometimes the Reading Police when it comes to judging what others read. I’m trying to have more grace and let go of the idea of good books and not great books. I used to almost always read the end of a book before the beginning. It’s just enough more of an effort to do this with a kindle that I stopped. Go figure.
I do still finish every book I read but I am much pickier about what I pick up to read. Sometimes I want to read something but it’s a not at this time book so it sits on the shelf till I get to it. And if I look at my shelves and see I book that I now for some reason don’t want to read, I will donate it.
I do try hard not to be part of the Reading Police. My mantra is “not every book is for every reader.” I also remind myself that life is way too short to judge the reading of others. Mostly, as a retired educator, I’m happy for anyone who enjoys reading. I have learned to read the end of a book when a plot makes me anxious or upset or sad. Then I know whether or not the angst along the way is worth it for me.
I’m enjoying the (acquired!) freedom of feeling comfortable reading what appeals to me.
And, I’ve never been shy about sneaking a peak at the ending!