It’s been a while since I did one of these posts . . . but today I’m feeling like I could use a little Sanctuary. Maybe you, too?

In the last 10 days, three of my personal icons have died. Dolly Parton. Wendell Berry. And now . . . Gloria Steinem. Sure, each of them was getting up there in age, and they had each lived Big, Bold Lives. But, still. I was just not ready for this. It’s hard for me to think that I now live in a world without them.

Sigh.
Melancholy sets in.
I am seeking . . . a little sanctuary.

So today I’ll listen to some of Dolly’s music, and read some of Mr. Berry’s words, and revel in the world that Ms. Steinem helped bring about.

Join me?

Me . . . and Dolly Parton

We can’t just hope for a brighter day, we have to work for a brighter day. Love too often gets buried in a world of hurt and fear. And we have to work to dig it out so we can share it with our family, our friends, and our neighbors. — Dolly Parton (on her 75th birthday)

Y’know . . . I really wasn’t a Dolly Parton fan until I went to college. As a freshman at the University of Wyoming, I pledged a sorority (Tri Delt). On Friday afternoons back then (1977), when my fellow Tri Delts and I were getting ready to go out for the night, guess what was always blasting from our the stereos? Dolly Parton’s brand new Here You Come Again album! I will always associate Dolly’s Two Doors Down with the anticipation of “going out” for a Friday night with my “sisters” . . . even when I hear it today!

I even got to see Dolly perform in concert (summer 1978) thanks to my then-hometown rodeo celebration, Cheyenne Frontier Days (. . . “the Daddy of ’em All . . . ).

I’ve been a fan ever since. And my love of Dolly only continued to grow over the years as I learned of her contiuing commitment to Doing Good in the world

Me . . . and Wendell Berry

I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief… For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. — Wendell Berry

I have many “favorite poets” (so very many “favorite” poets. . . ), but right at the top of the heap is Wendell Berry. Whenever the world feels particularly heavy, I turn to Wendell Berry. Whenever I feel like there is no more hope to be found, I turn to Wendell Berry. Whenever I feel a bit melancholy and alone, I turn to Wendell Berry. He has his finger on the pulse of nature and the garden and the solace they can bring.

If you’d like to learn more about Wendell Berry and read some of his poetry, the Poetry Foundation has a great selection of his poems and a lovely bio.

Did you know, though, that in addition to writing poetry, Wendell Berry also wrote essays and novels? If you’re interested in reading a lovely novel about kindness and good and finding a place in the world, perhaps you’d like to check out Jayber Crow. I read it back in 2022, and here’s what I had to say about it in my review on Goodreads . . .

Long a fan of Wendell Berry’s poetry, I had never visited Port William or met the members of the Port William Membership until opening the pages of Jayber Crow. What a treat! A gentle story told by a gentle man . . . filled with wonder and searching for his place in the world. This quiet book with no real plot (to speak of) is brimming with wisdom and lessons for how to live a life of faith, hope, humility, and love. I savored every word, and can’t wait to return to Port William again. Wendell Berry is a master!

(I gave it 5 stars.)

Mr. Berry has an extensive series of books about Port William, and Jayber Crow falls somewhere in the middle of that series. It didn’t matter at all that I read it from the middle! (No rules. Just fun.)

Me . . . and Gloria Steinem

The future depends entirely on what each of us does every day; a movement is only people moving. ― Gloria Steinem in  “Revolution from Within: A Book of Self-Esteem”

I suppose Gloria Steinem’s death has hit me hardest of all. First, just this last Tuesday, I finished reading an ARC edition of her soon-to-be-published memoir, An Unexpected Life (due out on September 22). Even though I knew she was 92, she seemed so vibrant and alive and full of her usual spunk and verve as I was reading. I remember thinking to myself . . . how lucky we are to have such a strong feminist leader still living among us! So today was a shock.

But the other thing that hits hard is that . . . I actually spent a day WITH Gloria Steinem! (And I know I have blogged about this in the past, but not recently. I hope you’ll forgive me for bringing up this story again, but I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I just . . . need to tell it.) Back in November 1992 (in fact, the day after Bill Clinton’s election), Gloria Steinem came to Grand Rapids for a talk in support of the YWCA Center for Women. (They were in the midst of a capital campaign at the time, and the foundation I worked for was instrumental in securing her speaking engagement.) It was a great event — a sell-out in a big venue. And the crowd was spirited and a bit raucous — filled with elation and hope after the election.

She was also due to give a keynote at the (much more serious and subdued) Council of Michigan Foundation’s annual conference the next day in Battle Creek. Imagine my elation when I was asked to be her driver! I would ferry Gloria Steinem herself from Grand Rapids to Battle Creek, hang out with her until her talk at the conference, and then get her back to the airport.

Oh. My. God.
(In my minivan . . . with a backseat full of carseats no less!) (Erin was 4 at the time; Brian 8 months.)

I was excited — and a bit of a wreck. Because . . . 8 hours with Gloria Steinem. Just me. And her. As you might expect, she made me feel immediately at ease and comfortable, minivan and all! I’ll admit that I fan-girled right to her face about how much I admired her and how grateful I was for all her work on behalf of women. She thanked me and brushed it aside — and turned the discussion . . . to me. We talked about balancing work and raising a family, what I hoped for in the future, what I wanted the world to look like for my children. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a deep conversation with a stranger.

And then, well. As we were barreling down the highway, she told me she really needed a nap, and would I mind. Nope, of course not. But . . . I was surprised when she crawled over the front seats into the back seat . . . where she removed my kids’ car seats and brushed aside the Goldfish cracker crumbs (and god knows what else) and LAID DOWN on my back seat and took a nap!

I’ll spare you the details of the rest of the day, but she was gracious and wonderful. And exhausted. I’ve been re-living the event in my mind all day today. I’m so grateful for the work she did and the people she inspired along the way. And I thank my lucky stars that I got to spend that time with her.

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It’s easy to think that our icons will live forever. But, of course, no one lives forever. Long lives – even Big and Bold long lives – feel altogether too short.

If these recent passings have felt just a little . . . too much . . . for you, too, I hope you’ve found some . . . sanctuary. . . here today.

Enjoy your weekend.
Rest.
Notice the beauty around you. Breathe it in. Hold it in your heart.
Listen to Dolly. Read some of Wendell Berry’s poetry. And reflect on Gloria Steinem’s contributions to our world.