This week here in the Read With Us LOUNGE, my plan was to dig a little deeper into a reading “should” that most of us hold (or have held) in our reading-hearts . . . that we need to finish a book if we started a book.
But.
As I was putting together my thoughts on this topic for you (and I have many thoughts on this topic), I didn’t really like the way my post was coming together. So I scrapped it and tried again, coming at the topic from a slightly different angle. But that wasn’t working for me either. I knew I was stuck and flailing. I had too many thoughts and nothing was really working. At all. So Tom convinced me to put it aside for awhile; to come and watch the World Cup soccer match between Mexico and England with him . . . while I (ostensibly) let it simmer in my brain. But if you watched that match last night, you know there was no walking away to go write a blog post.
So here I am now, 6:30 am the next morning . . . when I (ahem) “should” have a thoughtful post all ready to go in the LOUNGE. And I do not.
But then I realized, sitting in my recliner this morning with my coffee, watching the day brighten as the sun came up, that . . . struggling to write a blog post is kind of (kind of) like struggling with a book.
I mean . . . I’ve been thinking about this post and how I might structure it and what my point might actually be for a week now. I’ve been mulling over various approaches I might take in encouraging us to consider and discuss the whole complicated – and very personal – issue of when, why, and how . . . to walk away from a book (or a blog post). It’s complicated. And often personal. And sometimes . . . things (blog posts, books) just don’t work out, y’know? And you need to just move on.
So, following the mantra of the summer Read With Us LOUNGE (No rules. Just fun.), I decided to just get on with it. Here’s what I’ve got for us this week in the LOUNGE:
- When it comes to walking away from a book mid-read – something that is antithetical to the strict Judeo-Christian work ethic of our culture – is that something you allow yourself to do easily?
- Or does it make you feel a bit . . . conflicted?
- When you’re reading a book, what about it makes you decide to throw in the towel?
- Do you ever feel a need to justify your decision to others?
- Are there circumstances where you find yourself reading on (and sometimes on) . . . in a book that is clearly not to your taste or liking . . . rather than just bail?
- And at what point in your reading of a book are you most comfortable with setting it aside?
Let’s talk about it!
(And maybe someday, I’ll write a LOUNGE post about the topic that kept popping up in my earlier drafts . . . What does it mean to finish a book, anyhow . . . )
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The Read With Us LOUNGE is now open for the summer!
Grab a book. Find a comfy spot to read with us for awhile.
No rules!
Just fun!
And be sure to visit Bonny and Carole today to see what they’re talking about in the LOUNGE.
I never feel guilty about not finishing a book. The idea of feeling required to finish reading a book that you are reading for pleasure is self-imposed guilt. And self-imposed guilt is a waste of time, IMO. When I was in graduate school it was necessary to finish tomes of required reading. And I still read things that are necessary when I must, but my preferred avenue is reading for pleasure. And if it is not pleasurable in some way through engagement or enrichment, then I just stop. It’s the primary reason I don’t enjoy book clubs. Book clubs feel like required reading.
That match!! And GOOOO England! I don’t know if I am enjoying the fans or the sport more… but I am so enjoying the matches!
Now, on to your great questions! I was of the mindset for most of my life that if I started a book, I had to finish the book. And boy… can that be a limiting rule. I used to spend a lot of time hemming and hawing over starting a book with lots of angsty “what if I don’t like it” worry. Then came Educated by Tara Westover … about a dozen pages in and I just could not. And I brought the book back to the library and felt so guilty… but I just could not read that story. I spent a good bit of time contemplating that and the guilt I felt and I realized that I had put myself in a “self-imposed” reading prison… and I had the key to free myself. So I did. I remember the year I did not finish 3 whole books! LOL Now, if a book is not working… for whatever reason… whatever author… I just move on. There are billions of books… billions… and it is okay not to read what is not working for a particular reader! For me… reading is the greatest pleasure in life! I am no longer in school with “assigned reading”… I can read for pleasure, I can read to learn, I can read to escape… and I can decide to not finish books as well. Guilt free. I also know that sometimes where I am as a reader can change… and a book I struggled mightily with once… if I pick that book up later, it just might be the right book then!
Ha! I’m laughing at Becky’s comment because I feel the same way…except that I love our RWU book club. And that caused me to finish one book I would not have otherwise. I’m sure you can guess – Young Mungo! LOL. But, that group (OUR Group!!) also had me reading and finishing and loving a book I had originally cast aside (The Antidote). So, no guilt and no need to explain myself. Sometimes it’s not the right time for a book and sometimes it’s just not a book for me. As I noted on Bonny’s blog, I recently picked up 6 books form my library and I already know that one will be returned after only reading a few pages…it’s just not for me (at least right now). If I’m more than halfway through a book and thinking it’s not for me, I will probably finish it at that point (unless it is like 700 pages or so). Usually I can tell within the first 25 pages or so whether I will stick with it.
I’m not sure where I got it in my head that I “had” to finish any book that I started, but that’s just how it always was for me. And it’s something I still struggle with. I always hope that a book I’m not enjoying or that isn’t working for me will change and resolve the issues in the end, especially if I’m almost to the end. But in recent years I’ve been working on being better about DNFing. Usually if I’m going to do it, it’s going to happen early on. If I’m most of the way through a book, I feel like I’ve invested enough time that it’s worth it to finish, even if I don’t love it.
One reason I finish a book I do not love is if I think it would be a good book to recommend to a friend. Or, maybe I feel it will teach me something I need/want to learn. Or, it might be for a book group (good discussions come from other views). I like to read hard books (meaty and interesting) and not everyone likes to work for a book. That’s okay. It’s what I love most about reading. YMMV I usual know going in if a book is worth my time (I do a little research before starting) and that keeps me from reading (or not) something that isn’t going to give me something to chew.
I don’t know a lot about soccer and haven’t watched any games, but seeing the reactions of the fans has helped restore my faith in humanity. They cheer for the opposing teams, hug bereft fans if their team has lost, and just generally act with caring and empathy. It’s been wonderful to see!
I think it was years of reading for school and hearing “you should finish what you start” that have made it hard to not finish any books. I get most of my books from the library and it’s a little easier for me to quit a book if I haven’t actually purchased it, and I can just return it and get it into another patron’s hands sooner. They might love it! I’ve learned that if I dread picking up a book, then it’s time for me to quit. Usually it’s not a hard decision, but I was really conflicted when I didn’t finish Land. Hamnet is one of my favorite books and I respect Maggie O’Farrell as a writer, but sadly, she didn’t write the book I wanted to read. It is a book that I might try again someday, but I felt so free that I knew it was the right decision.
That question of what does it mean to finish a book is an interesting one!
I’m way more likely to not finish a non-fiction book I don’t care for. Maybe because often I’m not missing the arc of a story. I think one of the reasons I keep going when I do, is as readers, we HAVE learned that sometimes we have to hang in there with a book – some good books start slow. On the other hand, I’m getting better and better at leaving behind a novel that has no (for me) likeable characters. If I dread picking up a book (or listen to ANYTHING else if I have a choice) then I consider just leaving it all behind.
Are you familiar with Nancy Pearl’s rule for giving up on a book? If you are age 30 or under, read 100 – 30 = 70 pages before giving up. If you are 50, read 50 pages before giving up. If you are 70, read 100 – 70 = 30 pages before giving up. The rule takes into account that when you are older your judgement becomes sharper and your reading time more precious.
I don’t often DNF a book, but when I do I don’t look back. That doesn’t count the times that I’ve started a book and realized the timing was not right for me. Those I may come back to later.