Three years ago right now, I picked up a book I’d heard almost nothing about . . . Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, by Katherine May . . . and it turned out to be the perfect book for me to be reading as 2020 came to a close. I wasn’t quite sure what I’d discover within its pages, but I was totally drawn to the book based on the title alone. Once “inside” those pages, I was delighted to find a memoir sprinkled with philosophy, explorations of nature, and strategies for coping with extreme winter conditions. I particularly appreciated the author’s explanations and acceptance of unhappiness and “wintering” as natural states of human life. In a society where “happiness” is always the goal, it’s refreshing to acknowledge those “fallow periods” in our lives — accepting them not as “failure” but as opportunities to adapt and overcome.
It’s one of those books that I needed to purchase for my personal library . . . because I found so many things I wanted to underline and highlight. Three years later, I still pick up the book surprisingly often to re-read passages I’d “saved” that first time through. Here is one of my favorites, which seems particularly perfect to begin this month, this season . . .
Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. Winter is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximising scant resources, carrying out acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that’s where the transformation occurs. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible.
Once we stop wishing it were summer, winter can be a glorious season in which the world takes on a sparse beauty and even the pavements sparkle. It’s a time for reflection and recuperation, for slow replenishment, for putting your house in order.
Doing those deeply unfashionable things — slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting — is a radical act now, but it is essential. This is a crossroads we all know, a moment when you need to shed a skin. If you do, you expose all those painful nerve endings and feel so raw that you’ll need to take care of yourself for a while. If you don’t, then that skin will harden around you.
It’s one of the most important choices you’ll ever make.
— Katherine May, in Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times
In this winter season of our lives . . .
Let’s look for the “sparse beauty” and the sparkling pavement.
Let’s slow down – even just a little bit.
Let’s allow our spare time to expand.
Let’s rest, and focus on getting enough sleep.
Let’s stop fighting our winters — and try to embrace them instead.
(And if you’re looking for a book to read this month – or during the deep months of winter to come – you might want to consider picking up this one.)
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If you’re wondering what this “advent calendar” is all about, you can read my “intro” post here.
Embracing winter is definitely a challenge for us summer lovers but it’s something I’ve been trying to lean into these last few years. This book helped a lot with that and I’m thinking it’s time for a re-read.
I love that you are starting with this! I have this queued up next… I just got it from the library! December really helps ease me into winter with all the lights that make me appreciate darkness.
This is my favorite of Katherine May’s books, and a refreshing and useful book for those “wintering” times in our lives (whether they happen during winter or not).
Thank-you for that lovely piece Kym. I feel like the cold came fast this year but embrace it we will. Looking forward to the next 24 days.
I currently have a small stack of books to begin this month and read slowly as we move into winter. Might need to add my copy of Wintering to the pile
I guess I’m one of those odd ducks. I love winter.
I would need this book more in the summer time. I think the philosophy would hold no matter when (or what) winter is to you.
Thank you so much for the thought, effort and love you are putting into the Advent calendar. Your blog is often a source for wisdom and new insights on how to live a more satisfying life.
Thank you!
A lovely first post Kym. I think I read Wintering a few years back – or at least parts of it – but it did not really resonate with me. I love the quote(s) you shared though, so I may give it a try again. I’m someone who is not bothered by winter. I’ve always said that a good snowstorm is just a wonderful reason to hunker down and be cozy. And get out and enjoy a winter walk in the snow! I really enjoy ALL the seasons and am so thankful to live in an area where we do experience all of them.
I (finally) read Wintering this past January and it was a game changer for me. Love that you started this month of windows with this one!
Thanks for linking back to your November post here, which I missed.
What a rich way to re-inspire.
I’m going to share this message with my nearest and dearest. My daughter lives in Seattle and struggles with the season. Thank you!
That’s a great way to begin!! Thanks Kym!
Such a great post!
Thank you for such a great beginning to the season! Wintering is a book I love and enjoy dipping back into from time to time. Illinois winters seem so mild compared to the snow belt of New York, but they tend to be grayer and with more rain than snow. Sometimes I long for those winters when the snow stays on the ground until spring and the excitment of a big old nor’easter! My father used to tell us that snow was “poor man’s fertilizer” and that very cold weather “cleansed the air”. I am going to try to find beauty in the grayness that I see out my window today. Thanks, Kym!
I also purchased that book for my bookshelf. As I walked today, I was thinking about winter and adapting to the darkness and cold in a way that is nourishing. Sometimes great minds think alike.
Thank you for these thoughts. Children don’t mind winter. For them, it just Is. I wonder when we future grownups start to change. In that way we are not like plants and animals (who don’t have to drive in the snow).
I share your love for this book. As someone who’s always dreaded the cold and dark of the winter, I experienced a real shift in my perspective after reading it. I’m glad I own it so I can go back to it when I need a reminder!
Perfect! And, perfectly true for me. xox