(A special note about today’s post: My daughter, Erin, has given me permission to share this part of her life with you today, and has given me her stamp of approval for this post.)

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you already know that I have a brilliant and beautiful daughter, Erin. She lives in California with her husband, Keith, and their cat, Dash. She works for Google, where she does software documentation (and so much more that I really don’t understand) for a large engineering team. (Like I said . . . she’s brilliant.) In her “spare” time, she runs and bakes and gardens and plays video games. She is an avid (as in Very Avid) hockey fan. And she builds/paints amazingly detailed Gundam model kits (which is pretty much the plastic equivalent of knitting from difficult lace charts with very fine wool on tiny needles).

What you likely don’t know – and probably would never guess –  is that Erin does all this . . . well, basically with her hands tied behind her back. You see, Erin lives with severe anxiety and panic – something she’s been sorting through since her early elementary school years. But sort through it, she has! She’s learned to live alongside her anxiety, rather than fight against it. Which is a huge and very important distinction. In fact, since she was a little girl, Erin has entertained high hopes and dreams for herself. She’s always had lofty goals . . . and despite anything anxiety could throw at her, Erin has achieved Every. Single. One. of her goals. (Rinse. Repeat.)

Erin has always enjoyed the support of her family and her husband as she works through her anxiety and panic issues. She’s worked hard with her therapists, and relies on proper medications to help her feel her best. But the bottom line here? It’s Erin. She’s strong, determined, and resilient, and over the years, she’s developed strategies for dealing with adversity and the inevitable “anxiety fallout” from just . . . living her life right on the edge all the time. Erin prioritizes her mental health by knowing herself and what she needs (assessing how she’s feeling, anticipating triggers, etc.), practicing self care, and setting firm boundaries to protect her peace. 

Here’s a recent example for you: Late on the night of the election, when it was becoming ever more clear that, well . . . that things weren’t turning out the way we had hoped, Erin grew very anxious and spent much of that night fighting a major panic attack. Like so many of us, Erin had a rough couple of days. It didn’t take too long, though, before Erin “regrouped” and started moving forward again. Of course, she was not happy about the situation. She was incensed and angry; incredulous, scared. But she was functional. She was focusing on her work and her life again. She was strategizing about how she might be helpful, and she was taking baby steps to make it so.

But you know what she wasn’t doing?
She wasn’t paying attention to the news!

At all.

Although I knew she had “unplugged” the news, I didn’t realize the extent . . . until the big story that Matt Gaetz had withdrawn his nomination for Attorney General broke. Erin and I were texting back and forth at the time, and I told her the “breaking news.” Her reply?

“Sorry I’ve not been following the news. What nomination?”

And.
Ding-ding-ding!

There you have it, my friends.
THAT is protecting your peace.
THAT is setting some serious boundaries.
THAT is prioritizing your mental health.

Which really got me thinking . . . because I SAY I’m “not paying attention to the news.” But, really, I am. At some level. I may not be going as “in depth” with the news as I used to; I may not be reading articles and opinion pieces all the way through anymore. But I am, definitely, paying some attention. Probably too much attention, actually.

I thought I was protecting my peace.
But, really . . . I wasn’t.
I need to reassess.

Here’s how Erin explains it. . . 

The mental and emotional cost of keeping up with politics right now is not worth it. I already know what these fuckers are going to do. They told us. That’s why this whole thing is so scary.

But I can’t save democracy single handedly. All I can do is make sure that I keep my own peace. So I’ll put my head down and focus on work. I’ll vote. I’ll donate money to causes that can make widespread differences. I’ll protect my people—my community, my friends, my family—by doing the small things I can to bring joy and peace.

But I don’t have to stay tuned with the latest super villain that trump has nominated. I don’t have to read the news to know things are bad. All I can do is move forward and make things for my people and myself better.

—Erin

I’m sharing Erin’s story with you today for two reasons. First, thinking about and prioritizing our mental health is important all the time, but especially right now when things feel so unsettled and unstable and uncertain. And second, if we’re serious about protecting our peace and prioritizing our mental health, we need to come up with our own plans for doing just that. Like Erin, we need to develop personal strategies that will work for us.

And if you’re feeling like you could benefit from some extra support to cope with the challenges and uncertainties of the world today, please talk to your medical professionals about therapy options, etc. 

Set some REAL boundaries.
Protect your peace.

The world is on fire, but that doesn’t mean you have to burn.
– Marenthe

Come.
Fill your cup.