In another October . . . many years ago . . . I was in a dark place. Facing a lot of scary unknowns with a little bit of hope. Yep. Back in late October of 2008, I was preparing for my first chemo treatment. At the time, I was pretty scared. Also hoping. . . that things would work out for me. That the treatments would work. That I would be able to tolerate them okay. That my kids (one in college; one in high school) wouldn’t be too worried for me (and for themselves). That I could buy myself a bit more time for . . . y’know . . . living.
I don’t talk about it much anymore, here on the blog or anywhere else, actually. After all, it’s been 16 years now. Things worked out, and it mostly feels like an asterisk to my life now.
But I do think about it still.
Quite a lot, actually.
This week, I was thinking about it in the context of . . . well, now. Current times. As in THIS October. In what feels like ANOTHER dark place. With lots of scary unknowns and (maybe) a little bit of hope if you squint just right. Dark not just for me this time, though. Dark . . . for all of us. For the world. And, sometimes, the overwhelming-ness of all that . . . well. I get an almost glimmer of a “why bother” feeling. And then some of that what-will-become-of-us-woe-is-me kind of bullshit will leak into my brain for a bit. (Usually that happens in the middle of the night). (Things always feel pretty bleak in the middle of the night.)
When that happens, I try to remind myself that . . . I’ve been in dark places before. And I will certainly be in new dark places in the future. And despite it all (and in the words of Maya Angelou) . . . still I rise. I go on to meet the new day. Because that, my friends, is what we do.
Last year, I discovered the poetry of Katie Farris, a young poet with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Katie continues to write and share her poetry. Despite her dark place. She writes . . . to try to find, “in the midst of hell, what isn’t hell.” Her poetry is poignant. It’s personal. And it offers a glimmer of hope – and an example of resilience – from a really dark place.
Today, I offer one of Katie’s poems. I hope it brings a light to your world . . . however dark it may seem.
Why Write Love Poetry in a Burning World
Katie FarrisTo train myself to find in the midst of hell
what isn’t hell.The body bald
cancerous but still
beautiful enough to
imagine living the body
washing the body
replacing a loose front
porch step the body chewing
what it takes to keep a body
going —This scene has a tune
a language I can read a door
I cannot close I standwith its wedge
a shield.Why write love poetry in a burning world?
To train myself in the midst of a burning world
to offer poems of love to a burning world.
Today’s poem comes from Katie Farris’ lovely collection, Standing in the Forest of Being Alive: A Memoir in Poems; published by Alice James Books in 2023. Visit Katie’s website to learn more about her and her work.
And hold onto the light, won’t you?
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You can find A Gathering of Poetry every month . . . on the third Thursday.
Share some.
Read some.
Gather up some poetry!
(Bonny is hosting a special link-up for A Gathering of Poetry. Be sure to check it out!)
Thank you for this — I really needed it right now. The world feels very dark and very hopeless a lot of the time, but if someone in a much darker place can still find a reason to create beauty, I’m sure I can find some light and some hope in it.
Your offering of poetry is perfectly timed, Kym. I am in a dark place personally as well as feeling the state of the country and the world is tipping ever closer to a darker place, but then the sun comes up, I rise, and set my intention to get through the day as best I can knowing that life is continually changing, sometimes for the better. I told Bonny the other day that if my husband was here he would remind me that the world has always been a dangerous and chaotic place and that we are all mortal. The wise choice is to realize that and yet still try to create beauty in our lives and the world, just like Katie Farris.
Thank you for introducing me to Katie Farris. I’ve spent quite a while reading her poetry and NYT article this morning and she certainly has a way with words. None of my libraries has her books but I feel the need to read “Standing in the Forest of Being Alive” so a copy has been ordered. I think the last couple of lines in the poem you shared just might get me through the next three weeks. Thank you!
ah, thank you for sharing your words and Katie’s with us. “offering poems of love” is what we all need to do! (because whoa, the world does seem to be burning!)
Kym, this is a perfect poem for this time and place. Those last three lines are so powerful. I think we just need to lift each other up as best we can. Thanks for doing the lifting today.