. . . at the edge or anywhere else for me lately.
One of my life goals is to “dance at the edge” of my life. (I mean . . . that’s even the name of my blog.) Because I’m looking to savor all of my life for the rest of my life. But lately. . . well. That savoring, that dancing has . . . kinda been missing.
I’m definitely not doing enough dancing.
After the election last November, I knew it was going to be a tough go. I knew I needed to do everything I could to protect my peace, to build a “bubble” around my world so I could keep going and . . . well. So I could keep dancing.
It’s been harder than I expected, actually.
For me, at least.
In the beginning of All This, even before the inauguration, when the daily outrages began (more outrageous than ever before), I kept hearing/reading all the messages and warnings that about how “THEY want you to lose your hope” and “THEY want to steal your joy,” etc. And back in January, I truly believed that . . . “THEY” couldn’t steal mine. That I was stronger than that! That I could withstand the onslaught.
But . . . I think I’m not doing it.
Or I’m not doing it . . . enough.
Because I am NOT dancing here.
I know that any kind of “glimmer” of hope from the outside, news-ish world would help boost my spirits – some piece of hopeful news or some sign of life from . . . well, from ANY kind of organized resistance. But I have come to realize that THAT isn’t happening (or at least any time soon), and if I’m going to get myself out of my current funk-state, I’m going to have to figure out something FOR MYSELF.
But my goodness. It is so hard to figure something out for yourself and find your joy again when you’re feeling so mired in the shit that’s everywhere around you. Sigh.
And that’s where I’ve been lately.
Trying to find my joy again.
Knowing that I need to start dancing. Even though I haven’t been feeling much like doing that lately.
And then, last week, this guy popped up in my Instagram feed with a powerful message that ended up being EXACTLY what I needed to hear.
I ended up watching it over and over. I transcribed the words for myself . . .
I’m not whimsical for fun.
I’m whimsical as a revolutionary act.
I’m whimsical to defy normality and established ideology.
There are strange men in shiny suits with egregious amounts of Federal Reserve notes who are banking on me to be discouraged, on you to be discouraged.
They want your whimsy to dwindle away.
They don’t want you to be polarizing.
They want you to be palatable.
Docile.But whimsy will free you.
Whimsy . . . is how you fight back.
YOUR JOY IS A WEAPON.
Do you hear me?
YOUR JOY IS A SWORD.
YOUR JOY IS A DAGGER AND A SHIELD.GET WHIMSICAL!
— @adminearth on Instagram
I wrote these words out in my journal.
I wrote them on a sticky note.
“Get whimsical” is my newest mantra.
And every time I find myself in my personal bad vibes vortex, I remind myself (often out loud) YOUR JOY IS A SWORD.
I’m still not dancing ENOUGH. But I’ve started to dance again.
And that’s a good start.
Onward.
======
(I took the photos in this post at a nature preserve near our house. Tom and I took JoJo for a little “sniffy walk” there yesterday. It’s nice to have a little piece of nature . . . right in the middle of Kalamazoo. Even if there are a lot of mosquitoes . . . )
Sometimes the joy is something we are sending out into the world, maybe without even knowing. What you share here sends ripples of joy and hope into my little corner of creation. In fact, I got my Wildlife garden certificate and sign yesterday thanks to you 🥰
I hear you — it’s hard. But I think that we need to dance and be whimsical and do all the good stuff especially when it’s hard, even if we have to force ourselves. It’s like eating our vegetables: We might not feel much like it at the time, but we’ll reap the benefits in the long run. I think getting out in nature is a great way to find a little joy, too!
Sniffy walks are the best, aren’t they? Those sniffy walks…. they are slow, they allow for savoring, and unexpected conversations with neighbors that you’d never have if you did not have a super sniffer wanting to amble along.
I am glad you shared the Whimsy Mantra… the overwhem is heavy… and dancing so hard. XO
Amen to finding joy and whimsy. I think of this blogging community as a place to encourage each other. Let’s pick up the beat and dance.
I’m not a whimsical person by nature, but I do dance while making dinner because the kitchen is too hot and I don’t want to cook for the rest of the summer. I’ll add a few extra steps tonight to act as a shield. I agree with Kat that the overwhelm is heavy and also with Sarah that this might be like eating vegetables (which is much easier to do in the summer).
I’m so sorry that the world has been weighing you down like this. I had a hard time back in January (as you know) but I’ve either (a) gotten used to it or (b) gotten better at ignoring it. I still feel the heaviness of it all but I do have moments (fleeting but they do arrive) of feeling lighthearted. Whimsy is a great word and I hope it can sustain you through the All Of This.
I will be sharing adminearth’s message with my family, and on Instagram. Just what I needed to hear today. Thank you.
Well. I would like to say that I am able to dance or do much of anything that is joyful, but I just can’t. I am as you say, too mired in shit of every variety. I wonder sometimes if it is going to be this way for the rest of my life. Horror all around me, all the time. If my husband was still here, he would say I am a lucky woman, and he would be right, so why can’t I manage to feel that way emotionally? I know it in my mind, but my heart stays heavy most of the time. You manage to have a spark even when you feel down, so I am trying to follow your path. Keep going girl, you have someone behind you searching for joy, whimsy, and inspiration. 🙂 I am glad you have found a bit of inspiration.
Choosing joy right here.
Spending time in nature is always a cure (at least for me). I’m sorry you are having a rough time right now Kym. Sending love your way.
Oof, it is SO SO hard. I’m thankful to have so many distractions in my life right now — and some of them (aged 4-11) provide WHIMSY without even trying. I’m currently hobbled by a bum hip, so haven’t been getting the nature time that I’d like (hopefully, some relief from that later this week).