When I sat down to sketch out my plans (loose though they be) for this Cup o’ Kindness . . . thing . . . I had the notion that it might be fun to offer toasts on Sundays, especially since the whole . . . thing . . . kicked off on a Sunday. At first, I planned to just write one myself to share each Sunday, but then it occurred to me that it might be more interesting and fun for all of us if I asked other people in my life to share their toasts. I think it’s worked pretty well (from my vantage point, at least).

And now, here we are, the final Sunday of this . . . thing. And our final toast from my final Toastmaster: my son-in-law, Keith. I’m going to admit that I was a little bit shy about asking Keith if he’d like to offer a toast. I mean . . . I didn’t want him to think I was too weird . . . with my little blog and my little toast idea. But I know he is thoughtful and clever, and I knew that if he agreed to the assignment, he’d offer a fresh perspective for all of us. So I asked.

And he agreed.
And he has, indeed, provided a thoughtful, clever toast for us . . . with a fresh perspective that may get all of us thinking about kindness in a whole new way.

I am honored to share Keith’s toast with all of you today.

So grab a glass.
Raise it high.
And join me in this toast from my son-in-law, Keith . . .

I have been milling over what to say in the cup of kindness that Kym asked me to write and wondering to myself often about sort of the meaning of being kind, and the deeper philosophical nature of kindness. During this exploration, my mind drifted rather to the struggle that I was having with this instead. Why am I finding myself having a hard time understanding or speaking on what it means to be kind? In that inner conflict, I think, I found a reflection of my own answer and what I wanted to talk about.

I struggle with a very specific form of kindness, and that is kindness towards myself. A lot of issues stem from that and I am working on it, but that work is exactly what I want to elaborate on. My therapist told me kindness and compassion is closer to a muscle than an outlook. Clemency towards yourself needs to be practiced, I am told, you cannot simply change your outlook and just “be kind” or will yourself into some form of positive outlook. It is work and it is exercise and it is a thing that can be strained and taxed and injured. I don’t think it’s a leap to say that this practice is something that can also be extended towards others too, if you like.

I think this kind of practice and understanding can be something to try to keep in mind. Not only can you grow your kindness to greater heights, deeper strengths, more meaningful messages…But you also do need to often take time to rest yourself. To not sprain your kindness. To not injure your own compassion.  

So I encourage everyone to be kind and compassionate to yourselves, but know too when you must rest, so you can come back again that much stronger. Many hands make light work, yes, but if those hands are all strengthened, fresh? Think of all the kind work we could do then, together still.

Show me how strong all of your kindness can become over the coming year. I will be right there with you, too.

– Keith Rovelstad, December 2024

Cheers!