Last month, I hinted at how much I’ve enjoyed having the word SPACE in my life this year. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a word before that showed up for me . . . in so many places and in so many ways . . . over the course of a year. It seems everything I did or thought about or imagined or ran into could trace itself back to SPACE somehow. Lots of lessons; lots of opportunities for growth. (And that’s saying something for a 64-year-old, y’know?)
Way, way early last January, I wrote these words in my journal: “Trust the non-doing. Allow for space.” At the time, I had no idea those words would become the theme of my year! But it really has really been a year of allowing myself . . . to take space for myself.
I started by allowing space for the new year to unfold. I didn’t make plans. I didn’t set goals. I just . . . went gentle into January. And that really set the tone for the rest of the year. I ended up . . . getting comfortable with the non-doing. I gave myself space to shake up my routine and take more breaks, to be comfortable with silence. I held more space for myself . . . judging myself less harshly, forgiving myself, taking the time to work things through. I got quiet. I read less fervently and more selectively. I listened more. I built margin into my days, into my life.
It’s been . . . really good.
Not without struggles, of course, but good!
I feel stronger and happier coming out of 2023 than I did going in.
Some of my lessons and take-aways from space?
- When things don’t feel right, maybe you need to give yourself some space to regroup and figure things out. Let go! See what happens.
- Not having enough space can be a problem But so can having too much space! Where is your Goldilocks-of-Space? Find it.
- Space . . . can be a refuge. Take it when you need it.
- When you give yourself permission, you’re giving yourself space . . . to breathe, to figure out the next step, to work out solutions, to try something different.
- Carve out the space to be healthy . . . because no one cares about your health like you do!
- Allow space for enjoyment. Give yourself permission to enjoy the gifts you’ve been given. You don’t have to earn it over and over again.
- Giving yourself space means letting things play out. Because they WILL play out (one way or another). Give yourself enough “real estate” to see how things look from a distance.
- Make space for disruption. Set your priorities, and then let shit go. You can’t do everything. REVEL in the disruptions.
- Give others the space they need to do things differently than you do.
- Sometimes when things feel heavy, you need to put them down for a while. Give yourself space to breathe and rest. Then you can pick them back up. Or not.
“Sooner or later, I hate to break it to you, you’re gonna die, so how do you fill the space between here and there? It’s yours. Seize your space.”
— Margaret Atwood
During the pandemic, I got in the practice of taking selfies of myself. I was growing my hair out at the time, so it was a way to document that process. But it was also a way for me to document the alone-ness of that period. I used those selfies when I did my 2020 year-in-review process. It was kind of . . . fun . . . to have this whole new way of documenting my year. So I kept at it. This is the fourth year of my “selfie project.” You’ll find some of my 2023 selfies sprinkled through my year-in-review posts.
Join me tomorrow for another chapter of my year-in-review.
And . . . because I build one every year for my word . . . here’s my SPACE playlist. It’s 32 songs (just over 2 hours) that spoke . . . space . . . to me. Enjoy, if you’re so inclined.
What good reflections and that Margaret Atwood quote is going into my notebook. Thanks for the playlist. I am getting more comfortable with poetry and getting reacquainted with having music in my ears these days. All the appreciation for your input.
oh Kym, so many wonderful lessons with this word … of course you’re (we’re!) never too old for growth and I love the idea of letting go to make space for YOU. I’m looking forward to some of that energy in my life next year. and as always, thank you for the playlist!
I nodded at many of the lessons you have learned from Space. I didn’t even “do” a word this year yet I feel as if I finally understand how important space is – space to be ourselves, space for others, and sometimes space to mull things over. Who needs Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos for space exploration? You did loads of it on your own!
I’ve noticed all year what a great word this was for you, and I’ve taken some of the lessons you’ve learned to heart, too, especially the idea of stepping away from something that isn’t working and giving myself the space (and time) to allow my brain to rethink it. Can’t wait to hear what you’ve chosen for next year!
(Also, thank you for sharing your selfies. I’ve shown some of them to others as an example of how beautiful and young you look with your gorgeous silver hair, and it’s reinforced my decision not to cover my grays.)
Sounds like you had a pretty good year. May 2024 be even better in every way.
Here’s to 2024!
Love the Margaret ATwood post. I was amused when I logged on to Feedly and saw your post, and when I opened it Feedly asked me ‘is this post about parenting?’
One of my favorite “space” quotes (delivered deadpan by comedian Steven Wright) is:
You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
Funny. And wise. Applicable to more than just stuff.
It is interesting to me how some OLW’s resonate more than others. I think you have had a very good year with space. And that last lesson: “Sometimes things feel heavy and it’s ok to put them down for awhile . . . .” I’m going to try and practice that this coming year. I don’t like to be pessimistic (and I’d like nothing more than to be wrong about this) but it feels like 2024 is going to be a “heavy” year.
This is a beautiful summary of your year with Space. My favorite part is that you feel stronger and happier now than you did when you started.
Space, what a great word for you this year.
I love when a word surprises us with its scope and immensity and impact. ‘Cause you really have no way of knowing at the start! Here’s to your year.
This was such a powerful word, Kym! Who knew??!! I just love when a word shows up… niggles in… and then hangs around! XO